Oh yes gotta love the day you get up and pretty much have no clue what the date is at all. Its one of the many wonders I have noticed with the whole bipolar episodes. Still I can deal with not knowing what date it is as opposed to leaving post it notes everywhere so I didn't "forget" anything. It was totally nuts and quite frankly even though I knew I was doing it there was no way to stop. I took one medication that pretty much made me hallucinate and hear voices...what kind of crap is that? I talk to myself enough as is. It has gotten better though except for the gaps in my memories. Its truly rotten what cards I am being dealt and not even the wonderful world of literature can take that away.
To say I have the gift of gab is a minor statement. I mean I almost painfully shy at times and yet I can talk a mile a minute to my close people. Everybody needs a good friend and I have yet to find that one person who might hold my hair if I had to puke lol. So Ive turned to writing stories again. I mean everyone says look at me I wrote a book publish now...I have read some stuff that I wondered if they slept with the higher ups to get the crap out there. I genuinely would love to get my writing out there. I write a lot of horror, suspense things which is not as easy as it sounds. I ponder plot, who is my lead character, should there be romance, or all blood and gore? Its crazy the thinking process you have to go through and I have to respect every author out there for doing such work. But in the end of the day as the world takes shape, the characters have a voice, and as you read something so imaginative and wild to me it would be worth the sacrifice of sleep, the piles of coffee to make something that says I did that. I guess I want to do something that will make me proud and of as of yet the decisions and the things I have done in my life so far make me sad and honestly a bit lonely.
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